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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23450572">Zack is done.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlareLunari/pseuds/FlareLunari'>FlareLunari</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Compilation of Final Fantasy VII</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, Like seriously done, M/M, Rangi the Orange, Sephiroth and Cloud have UST, UNTIL THEY DON'T, Zack is done, Zack probably needs a therapist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 14:15:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>718</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23450572</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlareLunari/pseuds/FlareLunari</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Zack was so done. Completely and utterly done. If he had to watch Strife and Sephiroth eye fuck each other one more time, he would go absolutely insane.</i>
</p>
<p>Zack is desperate for someone to listen to his complaints and he finally finds the perfect friend - a citrus fruit.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sephiroth/Cloud Strife</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>116</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Zack is done.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/rotschopf/gifts">rotschopf</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I had pretty severe writer's block and my good friend rotschopf made me write some FF7 crack. That's basically it. Enjoy ;)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zack was so done. Completely and utterly done. If he had to watch Strife and Sephiroth eye fuck each other one more time, he would go absolutely insane. The general vehemently denied any and all interest in the ‘puny recruit’ while Cloud didn’t stop talking about shiny silver hair and <i>that long sword</i>. Zack wasn’t even sure whether he was talking about the <i>actual</i> sword or ... No, nope. Not going there.</p>
<p>With a deep sigh he let himself fall onto one of the benches in the deserted locker room. Something was digging into his side and he grabbed the offending object – an orange. Great, his only company was a fucking citrus fruit. Well, he would take what he could get. Angeal absolutely refused to listen to him rant about ‘those idiots’ again and there wasn’t really anyone else he knew well enough.</p>
<p>“Guess it’s you and I, little orange. I should probably give you a name ... How about Rangi?”</p>
<p>He chuckled and pinched the bridge of his nose. Maybe some proper sleep would be a good idea since he was possibly going insane.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry you have to listen to this Rangi but I’m desperate. You see, I have this friend called Sephiroth and he’s this big badass general that pretends he doesn’t have romantic feelings – or at least wants into someone’s pants. It gets very exhausting because I know he’s lying. He’s really not very good at that.”</p>
<p>Zack got comfortable on the bench, one arm under his head, the other one cradling the orange to his chest.</p>
<p>“Then there’s Cloud. He’s also my friend and he so obviously has the hots for Sephiroth that he goes to hide in a corner whenever the general observes training for his regiment. He keeps telling me things I really didn’t need to know, like the fact that he’s doing it to conceal his instant boner. I wish they would just fuck already and leave me alone.”</p>
<p>Flashbacks of conversations he had with Cloud course through Zack’s head and he valiantly fights the urge to bash it against the locker beside him. Maybe he should look into a materia that would let him forget this shit.</p>
<p>“They would be perfect for each other, too. Strife is such a little bottom slut and Sephiroth loves to dish out punishment in whatever form he can. And I feel like they are forming some kind of emotional attachment to each other, being all smiles and shit when they’re actually communicating or on missions together. It’s sickening to watch. The Turks are already making bets how long it’ll take them to give in and Reno won’t shut up about it. And I ... I just want peace. And quiet.”</p>
<p>He started tossing Rangi up and catching her again, careful not to lose the orange. It was after all his only friend right now, his only confidante. God, he was pathetic.</p>
<p>“Rangi, why are they like this? Why is it so hard to just admit that you want to fuck the living daylights out of someone? Do you think it’s because Strife is his subordinate? But Sephiroth usually doesn’t give a shit about that ... Man, I’m giving myself a headache.”</p>
<p>With a groan he sat up again, back leaning against the row of lockers behind him. His grip on the orange slipped and the fruit rolled under a bench at the back of the room. Zack went to fetch it, pressing himself between a locker and the wall to reach it, when the door suddenly banged open.</p>
<p>“General ...”</p>
<p>Zack stiffened and ducked farther into the shadows. Cloud’s breathy voice was followed by a moan and the rustling of clothes.</p>
<p>“On your knees, Strife.”</p>
<p>He risked a glance around the edge of the locker and immediately wished he hadn’t. Sephiroth was standing in the middle of the room, pants down to his knees and Cloud ... Let’s say he was busy with <i>the long sword</i>. Zack bit into his fist and frantically tried to think of a way to escape, but sadly the two of them were between him and the door.</p>
<p>Suddenly he deeply regretted his earlier thoughts. Sure, he wanted them to bang and relieve the damn tension, but <i>not</i> in front of him! Hugging Rangi like a lifeline Zack settled in for a long wait.</p>
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